i’m not afraid of dying

i'm not afraid of dying
that's strange, because i've always heard
that normal people can't conceive of their own deaths.

i'm not normal, i guess
because i'm thinking of killing myself
and it doesn't scare me
it doesn't scare me at all

and that scares me
a little
because i want to die

and i don't know what's wrong with me

*** I wrote this 30 years ago. I'm not suicidal anymore, thank God. ***

7 thoughts on “i’m not afraid of dying

  1. I understand you completely. There was a day many , many years ago when I was friends with someone in university who often thought quite suicidal thoughts. Up to then I had never thought of death as an alternative to life. The day my friend took her life was the day I stopped thinking thus. LIFE IS WONDERFUL!!! no matter what may be. The challenges of life are great, at times. To overcome these challenges are great,at times BUT THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LIFE!!!!! I am happy to be alive! Happy for the happy times and happy for the hard times. Happy to have the chance to test my survival skills through the good and he bad. Thank you. Thank you for this poem. Until right this second, I didn’t realise how much it means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Mari

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re very welcome. You can’t take life for granted. It’s very precious, and fragile. You never know… Tomorrow you might get hit by a bus. So, be thankful for every day you have. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • Yes, before I started taking medication for my depression, I always felt a compulsion to run my car into incoming traffic. I’m pretty sure my meds have saved my life many times over. And happy wordage to you too. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad your meds are helping you. I’ve had bad things happen to me throughout my life but I never once considered ending it. I don’t have the nerve. When bad things happen in my life, I try to find at least one good no matter how hard.
    Thanks for taking time to visit and follow my blog. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

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